REFLECTIONS

I've always believed that movies can not only change our way of thinking but change our lives entirely. The movies themselves don't necessarily have to be entirely successful in order to hit a personal note and/or challenge us. In the last few months there have been three movies which I felt took courageous steps in dealing with religion, destiny and death: George Nolfi's "The Adjustment Bureau", Clint Eastwood's criminally underrated "Hereafter" and Terrence Malick's masterpiece, "The Tree of Life" All three movies tackle the before mentioned topics in unique (if not always successful) ways.
"The Adjustment Bureau" tells the story of a young politician (Matt Damon), running to become the youngest senator of the state of New York. In a chance encounter he meets a beautiful ballerina (Emily Blunt) and it's literally love at first sight for the both of them. However, this movie lives in a world overseen by the so-called Adjustment Bureau, a group of men wearing hats and raincoats, whose job it is to make sure that every human being on the planet fulfills his or her destiny,and if Damon pursues his romance with Blunt, he's risking his destiny to become the President of the United States.
"The Adjustment Bureau" can get a bit silly at times with the notion that our destiny is ran by a mysterious group which can clearly be interpreted as guardian angels doing God's work. But at the core of this story is something we can all relate to, something I sure as hell related to: How far are we willing to go in order to fight for the person we love and the life WE want to lead? It's a movie that makes it clear that our destiny doesn't choose us, but we are the creators of our destiny. Nothing is handed to you, you have to fight for it. Based on a short story by Phillip K. Dick, it's a movie oozing with humanity and love.

"Clint Eastwood's "Hereafter" has been described as silly, hokey and stupid. I found its dealings with the subject matter of death quiet, respectful and adult-like. It connects three characters: a psychic(Matt Damon), trying to get away from his "talent", a French journalist (Cecile De France) who after having a literal death experience tries to understand it, and a young boy (Frankie Mclaren) who after losing his twin brother wants to find a way to communicate with him.
"Hereafter" is a film that demands a huge leap of faith, possibly even believing in what the movie is trying to say. It's very un -sensationalistic in its portrait of death. It's deliberate pace and and subtle emotions touched me on a very human level, in a way that made the supernatural aspect not mater. These are lost night, trying to make sense out of their lives and find some much deserved peace.

The absolute best thing I can say about Terrence Malick's "The Tree of Life" is that it almost makes me believe in God. As with all Malick's movies, it's a very visual experience, putting on screen a vision that can only be compared to "2001 A Space Odyssey" It deals with man's relationship to God through the lives of a typical American family in the 50's The basic idea of the movie is that there are two way to go through life: the way of nature and the way of grace. The parents on this family represent the two ways through different methods of raising their three boys. The mother (Jessica Chastain) is an almost angelic figure, gentle and kind. The father (Brad Pitt) is much tougher, trying to prepare his boys for the harshness of this world.
Malick mixes the story of this family with gorgeous images of nature and the universe which represent the face of God. It's a movie that shakes all senses and forces us to think about it's meaning. This is a movie that's a new kind of prayer

I consider myself an agnostic but these three movies made me think about faith, religion and spirituality. They made me think about myself as a person, what I want my life to be and what's most important to me. And that is the power of movies.

Dedicated to my love who's always pushing me to be better and loves me most when I least deserve it.

My father's eyes

Today has not been a good day. It's the anniversary of my father's death. Can't believe it's been 17 years. I was only 8 when he died, but remember him quite vividly. The fishing trips, watching cartoons, taking me to school. Some people say he was not a good man. He drank a lot and once even almost hit my mother. But what does that say about my perception of him? My girlfriend says I should hold on to the good I remember. Today I remembered all of it and it was a bitter sweet feeling. I hope he would have been proud if he saw my with Gaby. I hope he would have been proud of the way I (mostly) treat Ivana. I hope he would have been proud that I'm making something out of myself. Sometimes it's difficult because I'm always afraid I'm gonna have his bad sides.I'm certainly not proud of some of the way I've been behaving. I've been impatient, a loud mouth and impulsive. My biggest fear is that I'm going to drive my girlfriend away. I haven't been fair to her. She's working hard to finish school and to secure a future for her boy. She has her priorities straight. And unintentionally I've been holding that against her. Do I miss her? Like hell. Do I wish I could spend more time with her? Absolutely. But most of all, I'm damn proud of her. I guess I just have to be patient and loving and caring. Then I'll show what I'm made of. And again, make my father proud.

STOP AND THINK

I did a stupid thing yesterday. I hurt the most important person in the world to me by shooting my big mouth off. It was more important for me to get my opinion across without considering the possible consequences my words would cause. I admit to having this problem. I often talk without thinking. And this time it bit me in the ass. But for what it's worth, I swear I had no bad intentions, I would never hurt anybody intentionally. Especially her. But what's done is done and I have to live with my mistake. Word of advice: as much as you sometimes feel you have to say something, stop and think. I'm not writing this to play martyr. Hey, nobody is gonna read it anyway. This is therapy, a way to get it all out. But I do hope that I'll be forgiven. As much as I don't deserve to be. I'm sorry

Have you ever felt like you just wanted to disappear and send it all to hell? Yes, you're life may be good and you're surrounded by amazing people but there comes a breaking point when it just isn't enough? I've had enough of being nice and understanding for everything and everyone. Maybe an angry FB friend of mine had it right

Hello

Who am I? I'm an idiot who right now should be studying cognitive linguistics but is rather blogging about... nothing OK, that's not entirely true. I do want to write about something. I just don't know about what. I've had this idea for a story for a long time now and just maybe, this blog will make me write the thing. The most important person in the world to me told me that all it takes is an idea, the will to do it and butt on a chair. The last year was the most important in my life. I've fallen in love with the most amazing woman, met an amazing kid, made a bunch of new friends and went through every possible emotion, good and bad.
So will all that help me put some ideas on paper?

Let's see...

P.S.: Dedicated to my constant inspiration who every day becomes more brilliant